throb
last night i played a pretty interesting show.
a girl i met earlier in the year contacted me a while back and asked me to play, with vocalists, speakers, and percussionists. she said they were promoting to the college crowd and they wanted soulful stuff. not a problem, she wanted house and such. she is a newer deejay who was very proactive getting started - just intro'd herself to my friend brian hamilton (dj irie) one night while he was playing at blue fin a year or so ago and asked him to help her learn. he did and she has excellent tastes in music, and is a good deejay.
i get there and i was a little nervous, not really sure what to expect crowd-wise. i have played the venue years ago and it has a good energy. it looked like Naseelah was having some trouble mixing and was a little harried, and i figured out why once i got up there - the only monitor was two five-inch mini studio monitors, completely overwhelmed by the main system. there was a bad echo and a percussionist off the right. already i have to work hard just to monitor with my left ear, so it was difficult to say the least. but no biggie, we all just do the best we can. next time i am going to see about helping set up a better monitor for her and also get the system to unity gain.
not many people danced, but the few who did really seemed to enjoy it. the vast majority of folks just sat or stood and listened. this is pretty par for the course in memphis for some reason, unless it is old soul or whatever is the current phase, i.e. 80s rehash.
once i was done i was standing at the bar waiting to be paid and a guy came up very excited, introduced himself and said that he loved my music. he then said, "i hope this does not hurt your feelings, but when i walked in and heard your music, i could not see you. i came further in and finally saw you and thought to myself, 'damn, it's a white girl!'" i assured him it is only on the outside, and that i was not offended, i have heard this comment before.
we talked a little further and delved into some sensitive subject areas about memphis. like the fact that things are so segregated in this town. you are either black, or you are white. when you walk into events, most often they are all white with a few exceptions, or all black with a few exceptions. in may case last night, i was the only white person in the building. there is a tremendous and scary gulf present, which leaves a person like me, who loves to interact with just about anyone who will meet me as an equal, upset and unsure of what to do.
my new friend and i discussed these things with ease. he said he as only been here for five years, and that memphis is way different than other cities on this level. there is little to no meeting in the middle. we are so closed to one another. it makes me very sad, because we all bleed the same blood.
i hope my music can bridge the gap in some way. it is most assuredly on the more soulful end of music, no 128bpm progressive crap for me, thank you. but does it lose value in some people's eyes because of the color of my skin? i distinctly get that impression sometimes in this city. i fully understand why things are how they are, i recognize and value the hurt and anger that the black people of this city feel in their hearts. i do not know if it shows, or how i could better reach out.
i would like to be a part of a positive change in this city, in this world. i see what the politicians do, i see the white man and his power trip and i feel the ramifications of it, too. but i also understand that i will never know what it is like to be black. all i can do is be open to talking about it. just talking about how we feel the ways we do, and at least attempting to be there, be present, for anyone who wants to share, so that we may some day meet in the middle. lord knows we all could use some love and understanding, regardless of the pigment of our skins.
This entry was posted on Saturday, October 28th, 2006 at 4:16 pm and is filed under Journal, Music. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.
October 30th, 2006 at 11:07 am
no one has any thoughts? anybody out there?
November 1st, 2006 at 9:01 am
Well I do! Never been a guy without something to say....
I believe you characterize what's going in Memphis fairly accurately. Geographically, Memphis is of course on the upper end of the Lower Delta, an area long known for being the real "Deep South."
Historically, only South Carolina rivals the Delta for racist attitudes.
What separates Memphis is the assassination of Dr. King and the race riots of the 60's. This made Memphis a "hotbed" of rage, and it created a chasm that's never been bridged.
Sure, there are people like you that try to bridge the gap, but there are too few people like you and too many that like separatism. But some separatism isn't all bad, meaning it's okay for groups to recognize cultural identity and seek togetherness. In other words, people binding together or congregating because they feel a cultural identity.
I'm not sure I care too much for the term "white man power trip," although I understand your point. The problem with those sorts of terms is they can produce further polarization. Unfortunately, I don't have any better way to describe it, and I fully understand the attitude.
So, what we have is a minority population of whites that act like they aren't racist, but most really don't want to go to school with blacks, live near blacks or gawd forbid have a child marry or date a black. That's reality for most of the white population in Memphis.
Another reality is the white minority in Memphis controls 90% of the capital in the city. They've got the money and therefore the real power.
But these realities aren't limited to Memphis. I've seen it north of the Mason Dixon line, as well.
On the other side, you have the black majority that remains bitter over the past and is equally bitter about a lot of things in the present. And rightfully so. Their so-called leadership, specifically the Fords, Herenton and other black "leaders" in this city have betrayed them. They're aligned with capital. Make no mistake about it.
If they were aligned and cared about the black community, you'd have better schools. Better neighborhoods. Better healhcare. But that's not what they have.
Memphis has a fucking NBA arena with tickets that aren't affordable for most of the people that live around it. A bunch of new $500,000 homes. New shopping developments. A city government that gave Servicemaster (a private corporation that openly touts its "service to the master" philosophy) tax breaks to relocate 100 or so wealthy Executives and their 200 employees to Memphis.
The government in Memphis is a joke. It's a huge part of the problem. But since when have governments ever solved any problems?
Democracy and problem solving happen with the people. It happens via coalition building in neighborhoods. It happens when people like Charlie McVean (who made his millions in a non-sustainable gross industry...the beef and cattle industry) finally do something worthwhile and give support to inner-city schools. Kudos to Charlie for his involvement at East High School)
It may take another 100 years to solve race problems in Memphis. Blacks were held in bondage for nearly 100 years. They suffered under discrimination and Jim Crow laws into the 1960's. That's just less than 50 years ago and means they were non-equals for nearly 200 years.
How can 200 years of wrong be cured in less than 40 years? It can't.
What's needed is to 1)Get new leadership in city hall. We need a "non-politician," someone that can be fair, bring the city together and stop placing the interests of big business ahead of everything else. 2) people to stop waiting for government to solve their problems and solve their own problems...this is happening already with really encouraging coalitions of blacks and whites working together 3) a massive overhaul of the educational system with a big injection of funding.
What if Fred Smith and Pitt Hyde decided to have an education fund raiser like the one they had for Bob Corker? You know, the fancy pants dinner that raised over one million dollars for that repug slime ball they support?
That would be nice! And frankly, that's where it all starts. With education. People can't free themselves from the bondage of poverty and discrimination unless they are educated and in control of their own lives.
Education is the answer. It's always the answer.
November 1st, 2006 at 5:54 pm
well said Beau
November 1st, 2006 at 11:42 pm
definitely. everything you just said made me think for one moment that maybe i should be in office. if only politics weren't involved.
by "white man's power trip" i meant only exactly what you said about the 90% of capital in the hands of so few. i certainly am not a part of that class, and thus i experience the ramifications of it as well. this is not just a race issue, it is a class issue, with other things involved as well, at least from my perspective as a woman.