Saturna

i am remiss in updating and have had lots of crazy stuff happening, but for now i just want to say Happy Solstice!

i stopped drinking coffee.

my friends and family cannot believe it. they are shocked.

i thought i had a kidney infection over the weekend, so i just stopped, started herbal infusions and cranberry concentrate and tons of water.

and i just have not started back.

mainly because i feel like i am walking around on a valium drip, thinking, why was i doing that to myself? literally, i have been drinking coffee like i should be drinking water - for a long time. not to mention spending a lot of my time being stressed out. in four days, i feel so much better, and no caffeine withdrawal headache.

i am not saying, "i will never drink coffee again." but it is nice to let go of one more thing i thought was necessary. very freeing. choices feel a whole lot better than compulsions.

i apparently got my spring cleaning bug a bit late this year, but over the past few days i have gone through everything, put stuff in the storage area in the back, donated a bunch of mine and isaac's old clothing, gathered a ridiculous amount of shoes to bequeath to my friends who can wear my size, etc.

i am still not done, with jah isaac's room being the most difficult one for me. so many toys, so many i would happily throw out, and that is hard to do when he is around. but i have cleared some space in there to make his art area front and center, as he loves to draw using his easel, which he calls his "journal."

so everything in the house is dusted, above and underneath, scrubbed, vacuumed and mopped. all this cleaning has left me with a feeling of lightness.

now for a lounge with my book and then later a night with friends.

life is good.

i am at EP's playing right now on a last minute request. i typically play on thursdays, but my friend Steveanne is out of town tonight. turns out, the normal band, Gary Goin and G3, is also out of town. G3 is great - they really keep the crowd going.

but tonight, whoever this band is has a distinctly soul-funk leaning, as opposed to a more pop bent. this puts a little more pressure on me as the deejay to satisfy the people, but there is a house full so that won't be a problem. (an empty room is a problem - give me a room of people and i will find a way to make them move.) but it also is way more up my personal music alley. jill scott, chaka, etc. bring it!

and my point, the reason i am writing, is that a female vocalist just came on - Big Baby - and she is killing it. chills all over, i have. i love that. makes me very happy. i hope to make some people feel like that when i sing.

after the fabulous camping trip and how wonderfully my car took (all eight of) us up and through the mountains, i am giving my car some love. today i picked it up from a tune up, oil change, and got the power windows fixed! woohooo, airflow! next week it will be some smaller random little items and the air conditioning. i plan to avoid using the air unless absolutely necessary, such as during the two to three weeks it will be 106 and isaac will be in the car with me. or unless he asks. i do not really care anymore - i try to look at it like a spiritual experience to sweat in memphis in the summer.

this means i can do a little traveling - very stoked.

other than taking lots of photos this week, i feel like i have accomplished little on my music front or in the way of upkeep on my home. so i am making a plan. i feel a need for a huge purge. there is just a little too much of nearly everything here in my house. well, not books or records, but i think i may be able to donate even some books. but, i am no longer proud of all these shoes. they sit there and sit there and i end up wearing the same flip flops or vans over and over. same for clothing. so, looking forward to finding good places for these things, and clearing out some space here.

time to simplify.

also starting The Artist's Way with my good friend and neighbor Kim. really looking forward to unblocking some energy on my deejaying, my singing, and who knows what else on the creative front. taking photos is soooo fun for me, i feel very creative about that. but when i think about recording a mix - i choke. when i think about singing a song - actually expressing myself with my own voice, where it will be recorded - i choke and think that my lyrics are crap. they aren't - i just need to find a way to let them flow out of me.

perhaps a purge, and the artist's way, along with all the other love and support i have, will bring me over this (probably imaginary) hump. here's to it.